Dear John

12 Nov

I’ve wanted to write him a letter for days. Nevermind that it’s only been a few days since we he decided that he needed some time off. I want to make sure I make it clear how I feel, that I know what I did wrong and was in the process of changing, and how different it will be when we get back together (speak it into existence, people).

I don’t know where to start, and I don’t know if it’s been enough time. He’s still texxting me about menial things, things that I would help him with when we were all the way together. It’s awesome and it sucks. I can’t help but wonder if he’s doing it because he misses me and trusts me, or if I’m comfortable and convenient. The latter is in my head, though I know it is probably not true. He called me last night asking where the local police station was. He has a GPS. But, he could have been being lazy.

I want to turn off my brain sometimes. Not because I don’t want to think about him and us and how we used to be, but so I can stop trying to analyze it all. It’s not for me to figure out right now. I’ve just got to live and hope that it all works out in the end.

So maybe tonight, I’ll write that letter. And keep it saved away until the time is right. And hope that it does us some good.

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